“Resolving intrapersonal conflicts and making the journey to healing one step at a time.”
I am often asked how I persevered through the many challenges I’ve faced. The challenges have ranged from mental illnesses, sexual abuse, to discrimination. Most people to some degree have dealt with the same challenges as I have and continue to face them today. As it stands, implementing conflict resolution strategies within groups are difficult. The implementation of conflict resolution strategies, when compounded with the inner being, creates a layer of complexity most find to be grueling. It becomes complex because the emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual states must be evaluated. Generally speaking, successfully resolved conflicts attempt to ensure negative or biased emotions do not seep into the resolution process. Allowing negative or biased emotions to seep into the resolution process can cause miscommunication problems, poor decision making, misperceptions, discrimination, and self-sabotage. When negative emotions are attached to the conflict resolution process, sometimes subjective reasoning comes into play and creates undesirable outcomes. However, the removal of subjective reasoning is extremely hard to do because as humans, we are emotionally bound by social, biological, and cultural factors. So, how do I heal if subjective reasoning hinders conflict resolution strategies and I need to look within? Try using question and answer journaling logs and have them evaluated or verified by medical professionals, family members, peers, or other support team members. This practice will allow for subjective and objective perspectives and reasoning.
Here are just a few tips below to get you started. Remember, I am not a doctor or counselor, this is my opinion based on personal experience.
1) Start with one challenge/obstacle/experience at a time and write it down as you remember it to be. If you know any family members or friends who are aware of what happened, verify the information;
2) Write down exactly how you felt during the challenge/obstacle/experience and how you reacted; and
3) Write down how your behavior changed during and after the challenge/obstacle/experience
Once you start journaling, you might get an overall idea of how the challenge negatively or positively impacted you. Additionally, if you verify the information with family members or peers, this can remove some negative emotional attachments allowing for a clear assessment of what you’d like to work on. We all are unique and need personalized healing plans.
That being said, conflict resolution within the self truly is a lifelong process because there will always be difficult decisions that need to be made and relationships will be tested. This is why my motto is “the journey to healing begins within”. The word journey should not be associated with negative descriptive words such as, “long, tiring, difficult, exhausting, and painful” or words that promote negative thoughts. Thoughts turn into perceptions, perceptions into motivators, and motivators into behaviors. I have found in order to fully heal, first I must resolve any intrapersonal conflicts. Whether they are referred to as challenges, obstacles, or experiences, I do believe there is a lesson to learn from each. Some might say, there are lessons learned from traumatic experiences, but that is subjective too. Additionally, regardless of who is to blame, the universal consensus is that healing should take place in order to healthfully move forward in life. So what steps in my journey do I take to resolve my intrapersonal conflicts?
Remember what works for one person, may not work for another, but I have found, the 7 Steps to Wellness have worked for me. They are;
Judgment; stop judging yourself for the role you did or did not play during the challenge/obstacle/experience. Stop judging others, focusing on the judgment of others is spending less time on the healing process;
Openness; be open to sharing the challenge/obstacle/experience with trusted medical professionals, family members, peers, or support groups. Often, negative emotions can cause depression and withdrawal, but sharing might help to release some of the negative energy. My experiences have led me to believe that negative energy blocks blessings;
Unity; form a support group with family members, peers, medical professionals, or use social media. Regardless of any momentary feelings, support is needed throughout the healing process;
Receptiveness; receive help from others. Now that support groups have been formed, allow help in. Due to negative feelings and unhealthy experiences, mistrust can develop. Try to trust again by slowly opening up the heart to receive positive energies from the developed support system;
Never give up; never, never, never give up. There will be good and bad days, mistakes will be made, but keep going;
Evaluate often; evaluate where you emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually are in the healing process by creating a self-evaluation check-list; verify the self-evaluation or check-list with trusted members from support groups; and
Your responsibility; no matter how much support is available, you have to do the work, it’s your life, you have to make the necessary changes to reach a place of inner peace
Take-a-away: The JOURNEY to healing within consists of Judge no one or nothing, Openness, Unity, Receptiveness, Never give up, Evaluate often, and it’s Your responsibility.
If you need any ideas for creating a self-evaluation check-list, you can either google some options or get in touch with a healthcare professional. I hope this post finds you well and is helpful.
© 2017 By Heidi Sullivan-Inyama
Picture sponsored by Pixabay